Tag Archives: children

More Than a (w)oman

Hey BLB-

I had some time to kill while waiting for my God kids to come by and I was like.. “Oh I should post my poetry”.  and then thought I kind of hand something to get off my chest so I’ll start with the future and let you peek into my past a bit later. This week the boyfriend and I are going to the Fertility clinic. Pretty Scary Stuff! They emailed me and him a lengthy questionnaire, Asking questions about menstruation, ejaculation , erections, number of miscarriages and a whole slew of other questions. They also sent a few  E-learnings about the body and male and female reproductive system. It was very 5th grade, but apparently I didn’t pay much attention then cause I dis learn a few things. One thing I found interesting was that because reproduction is such a sensitive topic for so many women there are no children allowed in the office.

All of this from a social work prospective is very interesting, but when I allow myself to be in the moment and really get a grasp on what this all means it’s heavy.  We’ve talked about before how I have a heart condition so I have never felt like a full fledged adult. I pay my own bills and wipe my own ass, but at the end of the day I still wear graphic tee’s and prefer a good nap over a candle light dinner. Not that any of that makes me less grown up, but I guess I’ve accepted the fact that I probably would never be able to carry my own child. In my teen years although I always practiced safe sex I was terrified of being pregnant. These days I am wishing I would have been knocked up in my twenties. Eh .. but that may have been Brookyln’s kid.. Shit show… I digress.. SO now I have this appointment which I feel is going to just solidify what I have already always believed. 1. I cannot carry my own child and 2. my eggs are probably past their expiration date.

My family and I as well as my boyfriend have spoken about surrogacy. But with him and his unsure feelings of things, I feel like it’s a decision we would have to make in 2018. besides we are not getting any younger. I am blessed to be bordering 40 and have both of my parents.  You have a kid by 40,  when your kid is 40.. you are well in your 80’s. See Math.. It’s alot to swallow. But the biggest pit of all is if none of this is possible ( even though I am #teamadoption) does this mean I am less than a woman.  This is what women do right ? Make babies..  I mean I know we can do anything , but that is biblically our purpose.  No?

Not necessarily looking for answers. Just sharing my thoughts, I am sure I am not the only one feeling like this so I figured sharing is caring. I will keep you posted on the end results. In the meantime Spring decided to visit NJ so I am gonna embark on some Vitamin D.   Peace ❤

 

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Episode 98: An International Love Affair w/ SUPER FAN Sam

We did things a little differently this episode. We invited one of our faithful listeners on the show! Besides fan-girling out, she gives a live Q & A, what she likes about the show and also shares her story worthy of a BLB stamp of ‘WTF?!’. Come listen as we feel the love from the internets!  Continue reading

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Episode 91: A Number’s Game – Does Age Really Matter in A Relationship? w/Bruce Mulkey & Shonnie Lavender

Is age really nothing but a number? To some it’s everything. “I can’t date a person younger / older than me?! It’s just creepy!” To others, it’s a very ‘go with the flow.’ “The heart wants what it wants” and all that. But can your relationship be successful when you realize when you were 12 your beau was in diapers? What do you talk about? Can you keep up with one another? Are you too old and they too young that the both of you use the “airplane” method to feed each other? WHAT’S GOING ON?! Luckily we have 2 great guests to break this age gap down for us. Does love know no bounds no matter the timespan or should we just stick to people our own decade and apply to AARP together? Tune in to find out what we think.  Continue reading

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Episode 14: Marriage – Do You Have The Balls (& Chain) For It? w/ guests (and married couple) Nubia & Vision

For the past couple of episodes (since ep 9) we’ve gone on this roller coaster of a relationship ride. Discussing the nice guy/bad boy aspect, to failing in love, to trying again online, to possibly moving in with a significant other. So, for this episode we wanted to talk about that final step and whether on not we’re prepared for it. Since Jenn nor I are married (and only have a limited idea of what it can entail), we reached out to a couple who could help us out more on that front. They been married for 10 years and have been a couple for close to 20 and they’ve been through it ALL:  “Other women” to the ONLY woman, break-ups to babies, holy shit to holy matrimony and everything in between! This couple knows what it means to endure and they got the scars to prove it, literally! What are you waiting for? Take a listen of their labor of Love. Don’t forget to Rate, Review, Share and Subscribe! Continue reading

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