Ep #125 Tell Me Lies ..Tell Me Sweet Little Lies.. : Do White Lies Matter ?

Ever told a tiny little ” white” lie to avoid hurting someone’s feelings? Your Partner asks you ,” Do I look fat in this ?”  What do you say ?? We all know sometimes the truth hurts, but maybe it’s our delivery. Have a chat with April and Jenn to discuss which white lies should never be told, Which one’s are OK, and how to change the dialog so that you can be honest without being hurtful. Have you ever told a white lie to avoid something ? Did it ever backfire? Join in the conversation below and share your stories!  Continue reading

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Ep #124 There’s No Crying in Baseball: Toxic Masculinity is in a League of Its Own

Join us this week as we dive into the popular topic of TOXIC MASCULINITY! We talk about how society, media and general upbringing has shaped how people define a man and how men define themselves. Also how society defines masculinity with exaggerated masculine traits like being violent, unemotional, sexually aggressive , etc.  We talk about how we as women can be change agents in changing the conversation with our partners and children to open up doors for positive emotions as opposed to just negative ones!

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Ep #123 The Man and the Woman in the Mirror: Vanity in Relationships

In this episode of BLB we discuss whether or not it’s okay to ask someone you are dating to change something about themselves? Whether it be weight , clothes, the style of hair, too much or not enough make-up, is it ever okay to ask someone to change?  Are these things deal breakers ? Is weight the only taboo topic? Is it okay to say” Hey babe, you’ve gained a few pounds, get on that”!? We discuss healthy ways to have these conversations.   We all know no one is perfect , but how far have you gone to try and change your partner or what have they asked you to change? What did you think about that ?? Join in the conversation below !  Continue reading

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Ep #122 MEET YOU AT THE ALTAR OR MEET YOU AT THE CLUB? .. ARE YOU MARRIAGE MATERIAL ?

In this Episode of BLB , the ladies discuss what makes a man or a woman marraige material. Women and Men are quick to say they can’t find someone to settle down with but forget to ask themselves, ” What I am bringing to the table?”. Women are not going to take the womanizer male seriously if he like to put out that playboy persona. Same for ladies who want to bare it all with out leaving anything to the imagination. Does this get you your Happily Ever After or just the Ex to the Next ? Come discuss with us and leave your thoughts and comments below. We love you hear from YOU!!  Continue reading

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Ep #121 It’s Allegedly A Man’s World: Are You Attracted to Sexist Men? w/ Brigid

Join us this week ,with our returning guest Brigid, as we talk about the theory that some women are actually attracted to men who are sexist. We debunk studies and talk about the difference of being sexist, chauvinistic, and an alpha male, and whether or not us women find that sexy. What do you find attractive?  Is what he’s saying being sexist ? What can we do as women to change the conversation? Join us in the discussion!

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Ep #120 What’s Good for the Goose, Isn’t Always Good for the Gander

Come join us as we introduce our new co- host Miss April Speaks and dive in to dating at a certain age. Is dating in your 20’s like dating in your 30″s ? Do things get better? , Worse? , Easier? Come Chat with us!  Comment below to join in the conversation !!  Continue reading

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#119 – Letting Go & Moving On

“There’s this meme that reads “Sometimes holding on does more damage than letting go”. In this episode we explore that statement and try to answer why we hold on to the things that have hurt us. What are we trying to prove? What exactly can’t we get over? Join us as we attempt to let go and move on mentally, spiritually, and physically from things that can hold us back from becoming better people.”

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#118 – 4:44: The Story of MJ – An Intervention w/April, Brigid & Randy

12 episodes ago, a conversation started. Today, we (finally) have it. Tune in to hear how this band of brother (and sisters, literally and figuratively) try to bring hope back into the life of a jaded spirit. You don’t want to miss this informative, important and invaluable conversation dealing with relationships, dating, and personal struggles. Grab YOUR friends and listen in. Maybe it might spark a dialogue within your group to share your stories with one another. Enjoy and educate!  Continue reading

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A Tad Numb.

So I feel I needed to purge this information somewhere, and what a better place than here. If you are an avid listener, 1. Thank you, but 2 you’ve probably heard me (Jenn) talk about “restraining order boy”. In short we were childhood friends, grew apart distance wise and reconnected over the common grounds that he needed open heart surgery and it was something I had already been through. Long story short we were coochie crunch for months until he got a bit possessive and threatened my life in which he became…R.O.B.

Well this morning I found out he passed away. I’m not sure from what, I can only imagine a drug overdose. And although we have years of history and what not… I feel nothing.

The Pisces in me should me emoting all over the place, but I literally just feel numb about it. Like I legally can’t pay my respects, but do I even want to? I definitely never hated him. I felt disappointment in him and the fact he was given a second chance at life and fucks it up, also that he was someone I bent over backwards for and his rage or his dark side still caused him to say and do horrible things.

As a mental health professional I should have known what I was dealing with , well, I did and ignored it. Anyways. That’s my bag to hold for the day. I don’t know if the courts will contact me or if I have to notify anyone. I’m still kind of processing.

Thanks for listening. Peace!

#117 – Keeping Relationships Fresh w/guest “The Rock God of Podcasting” Charles Mcfall

In this week’s episode Jenn meets the Rock God of Podcasting, Finally! and we all chat it up about how to keep a relationship fresh. The important things to do that will keep your significant other feeling all the feels they felt on day one, even if its day 5236! Charles helped us break down keeping things fresh before you start a family with little one and after.  Also howto notice and discover the root of what your partner really wants and needs from you.  So check it out, and let us know what are your thoughts , tricks and tips on keeping it fresh!  Continue reading

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Episode 116: Man-Child / Kid at Heart – Admiring or Adult Wanted? w/ Brigid

“Why don’t you GROW UP?” “GET A JOB!” “Do something with yourSELF!” We’ve all heard THAT before right? To some, those exclamations remind us of our adolescence when our parents were down our throats about our future. To others, however, it reminds us of last week – but this with our significant others! In this episode we talk about the difference between a man child and a kid heart. Is there a difference or should they just both put on their adult pants. Are the significant others out of line? Should the men be allowed to have a fun side? You know what they say “all work and no play…”  But what do YOU say? Would you tolerate a man child or would you leave him in the dust in his diapers? Tune in to see what we said!  Continue reading

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Episode 115: Can You Be/Stay in a Celibate Relationship?

How much is sex important to you? To some, it’s MONUMENTAL. To others a big MEH. Experts say sex is important in a relationship. Others say SCREW the experts (no pun intended). What do you when confronted with the fact someone you’re newly dating tells you they’re celibate? Do you stay or skidaddle? What do you if you’re in the middle of a relationship and your partner decides that they want to become celibate? Do you join in or jump off at the next exit? Waiting til marriage to some sounds wonderful, but others don’t know when that big day is – so is it worth the wait, to wait? Tune in to see what we think about this!  Continue reading

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Episode 114: Is Your Self Body Image Affecting Your Relationship? w/ SUPER FAN Sam

You wake up, feeling bloated, & go check the scale to confirm your assumptions. *Ugh* 10 MORE pounds?! WHYYYY. You jump back into bed, completely cover yourself in your blanket and make yourself into what you feel like – a human burrito. Your S/O comes in the room to greet you but you’ve decided to never interact with the natural world AGAIN! Over dramatic? Sure, but it doesn’t take away how a lot of people feel when it comes to their self image. The feeling of doubt, shame, and despair are written all over our faces with no pads to remove the things we “makeup” about ourselves. So what do we do? Our S/O loves us just the way we are, but why don’t we? Why can’t we see the brighter side of things? Here to discuss this topic is UK’s own Super Fan Sam as she shares her own personal story of her struggle with self image and reveals what fears she has when it comes to her weight and relationship. Tune in to hear some great stuff!  Continue reading

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Episode 113: What’s In A Name? – I Now Pronounce You, Mr. & Mrs. Uhh? w/ Miss April Speaks

There you are about to enter the reception hall. You hear the DJ say his announcement “and now for the first time ever, I present to you —“; the doors open. “Mr & Mrs (Fill in the blank).” What do you want to be called? Do you have your new married man or are you keeping your surname? Now more then ever that question is up for debate when it used to a non issue. What happened? Is it a sign of the times? An Archaic trope? Is it disrespectful to not take the new “family” name or is it just as disrespectful to assume that your new wife would? “A rose by any other name would smell as sweet” – William Shakespeare. We’ll see about that! Tune in to see what this trio had to say on the subject! Continue reading

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Episode 112: The Strain, Stress, & Strength Within – Relationships & Mental Illness

From school shootings to our favorite musical artists, the elephant in the room has now become the bull in a china shop. Mass hysteria for something we should have had under control for some time now. At least we’re now talking about it publicly as opposed to putting it under the rug. Mental illness. Even if you don’t have it, it’s reach will effect you in some form or fashion. It’s one thing to hear about it on the news, but how about if someone you desire is going through their own battles? How do you deal with that? Do you want to learn more or are you scared by what you hear on TV? Will you pre-judge or take the time to learn that maybe your diagnosis of what mental illness is is greatly exaggerated. Tune in to what we had to say on this very important subject.  Continue reading

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Episode 111: Thoughts, Views & All That Jazz w/ Jasmine & Sarah

Back on the podcast is Jenn’s niece, Jasmine, and her girlfriend Sarah. It’s a laid back episode this week as we tackle subjects that pop up from thin air. What a fun, thought provoking, emotional episode it turned out to be. Who says Millennials are the worst? (oh yeah, Jenn does! lol) Tune in to hear what goes on in these young minds and inadvertently how old they make us feel.  Continue reading

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Episode 110: I’m Not Mad. Whatever. Fine. UGH! – Passive Aggressiveness & Dating w/ Brigid

“It’s okay”. “Thanks in advance”. “No that’s okay…I’LL do it”. YEESH. Have you heard or spoken any of these lines? We put so much effort into avoiding conflict. Are you the same? Can you identify? What are the reasons? How can we stop it? We had the lovely Brigid back to tell us her story about her most recent bout with passive aggressiveness and we also a LIVE listener question! Tune in to hear what we had to say!  Continue reading

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Episode 109: Naked & Afraid – How Do We Date & Mate In a #MeToo World? w/ Sexologist & Psychotherapist Dr. Kristie Overstreet

From Ansari to “I’m Sorry”, there’s been a range of the good, the bad, and the ugly pertaining to the #MeToo Movement. The one thing lacking is sort of a “rules and regulations” to the conversation. How do we date in a #Metoo world? How do we touch/make love to a suitor? Can we still mimic what they do in the movies or is that outdated? Can a person be “too” careful enough to ruin the mood? No one wants to make anyone uncomfortable so how do we go about interacting with someone in a romantic manner? We got a returning guest to hopefully help us make sense of this new world we live in. Tune in to see what we came up with!  Continue reading

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Episode 108: So Close Yet So Far – The Dating and Distance Dilemma w/ Brigid

Have you ever dated someone only to find that they’re juuust out of reach? Not mentally out of reach, or even physically – but geographically. We’re not even talking long distance either. Maybe a bridge away or a couple tolls, or how about even a hour away. Yes, as the saying goes “what won’t you do for love”, but we’re not being lazy here! Going back and forth seeing someone who may live in a metropolitan area while you may be “in the sticks” is a daunting venture in the world of dating. Time & money are at an all time high when dealing with these parameters. So is it worth depleting your resources for this person, or should you just find someone with the same zip code? Tune in as we talk this out with our guest!  Continue reading

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As promised…. Some Poetry…

Here is one of my favorite poems.  I will share them periodically. If you are an avid listener I am sure you can guess who it was about.    Enjoy …

 

Tent Time

He came with a backpack of clothes and a Xbox
I opened the door to good intentions and to my heart.
We were scared , but if the 3 day weekends we spend together were so awesome..
The rest of the work week was cake.. right ?
I am still not sure why I found him amazing..
He meowed like a cat when he was nervous or bored.. But it made me smile.
At night he held me like if he let me go I’d fall off the bed.
That was only after tent time where we would talk under the covers to protect our secrets.
Every night he would reveal a little bit more of what was behind curtain number two
I felt a connection …
He felt …

Nothing ..

At first of course he searched and tried to find the words. Waiting and hoping to feel something ..
Because According to him .. If he couldnt love me ..
Then he was probably incapable of feeling it at all ..
We tried..
I tried..
and eventually he left ..
I miss tent time .. and every so often I get under the covers to find that he is not there…
Finding deficits with in myself that really don’t exist trying to explain how this could have happened
Blaming his past lovers for walking on his soul and leaving imprints so deep that I would never be able to fill those shoes.
But hes gone..
and there are things I wanna tell him
Did you see that fight ? Have you heard that new track?
But he turns a deaf ear to my existence
The resistance
fills my pillow with tears until my body weakens into a slumber.
Every essence of him  that surrounds me makes ache
Memories don’t live like people do ?
Do I Still exist to you?     – Jennifer

More Than a (w)oman

Hey BLB-

I had some time to kill while waiting for my God kids to come by and I was like.. “Oh I should post my poetry”.  and then thought I kind of hand something to get off my chest so I’ll start with the future and let you peek into my past a bit later. This week the boyfriend and I are going to the Fertility clinic. Pretty Scary Stuff! They emailed me and him a lengthy questionnaire, Asking questions about menstruation, ejaculation , erections, number of miscarriages and a whole slew of other questions. They also sent a few  E-learnings about the body and male and female reproductive system. It was very 5th grade, but apparently I didn’t pay much attention then cause I dis learn a few things. One thing I found interesting was that because reproduction is such a sensitive topic for so many women there are no children allowed in the office.

All of this from a social work prospective is very interesting, but when I allow myself to be in the moment and really get a grasp on what this all means it’s heavy.  We’ve talked about before how I have a heart condition so I have never felt like a full fledged adult. I pay my own bills and wipe my own ass, but at the end of the day I still wear graphic tee’s and prefer a good nap over a candle light dinner. Not that any of that makes me less grown up, but I guess I’ve accepted the fact that I probably would never be able to carry my own child. In my teen years although I always practiced safe sex I was terrified of being pregnant. These days I am wishing I would have been knocked up in my twenties. Eh .. but that may have been Brookyln’s kid.. Shit show… I digress.. SO now I have this appointment which I feel is going to just solidify what I have already always believed. 1. I cannot carry my own child and 2. my eggs are probably past their expiration date.

My family and I as well as my boyfriend have spoken about surrogacy. But with him and his unsure feelings of things, I feel like it’s a decision we would have to make in 2018. besides we are not getting any younger. I am blessed to be bordering 40 and have both of my parents.  You have a kid by 40,  when your kid is 40.. you are well in your 80’s. See Math.. It’s alot to swallow. But the biggest pit of all is if none of this is possible ( even though I am #teamadoption) does this mean I am less than a woman.  This is what women do right ? Make babies..  I mean I know we can do anything , but that is biblically our purpose.  No?

Not necessarily looking for answers. Just sharing my thoughts, I am sure I am not the only one feeling like this so I figured sharing is caring. I will keep you posted on the end results. In the meantime Spring decided to visit NJ so I am gonna embark on some Vitamin D.   Peace ❤

 

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Episode 107: Tambourine Or Lead? – What Position Should You Play in Your Relationship? w/ Arvie

This is pretty much a revisit of a topic we explored on Episode 29 but with a new spin on things and with a new person! What position should we play in a relationship? Should we take turns? What if you are the lead and don’t feel comfortable being the submissive one because it doesn’t suit who you are? Will you step back for the betterment of the relationship or do you feel that we have our roles to play and no need to play musical chairs? Listen in to hear what we had to say!  Continue reading

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Episode 106: Is Marriage A Bad Investment? w/ Randy & Miss April Speaks

We got a packed house this episode because it is such a hot topic that we couldn’t do it alone. FINALLY, it’s the two people that we’ve been trying to get on at the same time meeting for the first time EVER! We were waiting for the fisticuffs to fly between our guests but little did we know, the tables would turn and it would be the HOSTS that would be in the heat of battle! One guest even got some verbal jabs in to prove their point. Was it justified or was insecurity at play? Was it “Tough Love” or a battle royale? What in the blue hell could have gotten us all riled up? You’re gonna have to tune in to find out!  Continue reading

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Episode 105: MGTOW – Social Movement or Simple Minded? w/Author Noble Casalupus

With #MeToo, #TimesUp, and female empowerment in general putting women in the forefront, there’s one group that can’t it take anymore and wants to bow out altogether and that’s M.G.T.O.W. MGTOW or “Men Going Their Own Way” have rallied together and decided that women aren’t worth the hassle they put men through and have gone on to focus on their own endeavors sans distractions. Was Al Bundy onto something 25 years ago when he started “No MA’AM?” on Married… with Children? Does this movement actually have merit to it or is this movement as dumb now as it was back then? Find out what we and our returning special guest think about this faction of fury!  Continue reading

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Episode 104: What a Slut – Sexuality & Shaming w/ That Horror Chick Aimee

“Sticks and Stones may hurt my bones, but names will never hurt me.” Whore. SKANK. Hoe bag. Trick. etc. Um, are you sure? Women & teenage girls get harassed on a daily basis with those words and they are most certainly getting hurt by them. Anything that a woman does gets scrutinized. from wearing something that shows her curves, to an instagram pic of her being revealing, or even her talking about her sexual exploits, a woman can get verbally attacked by being just who she is yet met with countless voices telling her what the masses THINK she is. How do we combat this tug of war? Does a woman have to be discreet to be respected? Are women too sensitive to criticism? We got a guest from the past to discuss this and she was all too eager to return to shed some light on something that was dear to her heart. Tune in to see what we said!  Continue reading

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