Episode 73: Interracial Relationships & “The Black Experience”: Should You Marry Someone That May Not Understand Your Struggle?

On Episode 22, we talked about the general tropes of the topic of interracial relationships, but in this episode we go deeper. A video recently made its way across the internet and launched a hot debate all across the World Wide Web and even made its way onto network TV for further debating. Can a white woman ever understand the struggles of her black man? It was a great question posed, but an even greater question to try to answer. On the show is a couple who are no strangers to the topic of race, identity and struggle. It was great listening to their stories and informing us that life, especially for an interracial couple, is anything but just black & white. 

Episode 73: https://bedlovebeyond.podbean.com/e/73interracial-relationships-amp-%E2%80%9Cthe-black-experience%E2%80%9Dshould-you-marry-someone-that-maynotunderstandyourstrugglewguests-sein-from-qu/

Episode 22 (for reference): https://bedlovebeyond.podbean.com/e/22-its-not-so-black-white-interracial-relationships-w-guests-april-ralph/

The Breakfast Club video w/ Dr. Umar  (2.1 million views, 12K like, 26K shares and 7K comments) – https://www.facebook.com/breakfastclubam/videos/679750285568280/

Dr. Umar Ifatunde explains why he is against interracial relationships.

“Marriage is a political decision. Who you marry tells me who you are. When you marry a woman, you just don’t marry her. You marry her culture, you marry your community, you marry her people. You understand? So when a black man marries a white woman, he’s making several clear points and messages he’s sending out to his own people. Because there’s no greater symbol of your loyalty to your struggle, than to marry a Sista who shares that struggle.

You have to teach your son loyalty to his community. European Jews do it, Arabs do it, Chinese do it, East Indian… we’re the only people who feel anxious and ambivalent about telling our black boys that you better love and marry a black woman. And you know why we feel ambivalent, because all of us and have been conditioned by church to be colorblind. We’re constantly told over and over again that it is wrong to be for yourself before you are for anyone else and that’s why Africans are dead last. It’s nothing wrong to be loyal to yourself.

Can that white woman ever understand your son’s struggle? Then why would you want him to spend the rest of his life with a woman could never understand how he feels when the New York City police department pulls him over? You need a woman who can fill you and the only woman on earth who can understand the black man is the black woman. And that’s why I cannot respect a black man who is not committed to a black woman. That’s the greatest symbol in pride himself.”

Staying strong:

“Personally idc who other people date but I can never date outside my race. I LOVE BLACK MEN. I was raised by BLACK MEN. I respect them and their struggles. I just want to be with a man who I can identify with in every way.” – Donae Michelle


“It’s not about culture. It’s about the ability to relate to and to empathize with another person who can understand your struggle. For example, black Jamaicans, Haitians, Africans, and other blacks from the African Diaspora easily identify with black American culture in only a few years and share the same struggle, yet white Americans who’ve been here all along can never understand the black experience.” – Roland Sims


“I seriously cannot believe how blind people are!! The problem with interracial marriage is that 9 times out of 10, the white partner becomes the priority and the family does not support the black community. Take Kim and Kanye. Kayne used to care about the black community. Now Kayne is speaking about the Armenia Genocide when the biggest genocide was the slaughtering of the Africans during the slave trade. When’s the last time you saw a white woman really go to bat on black issues? Even if their kids are biracial?” – simoa

Backwards comment/catch 22?:

“There’s so much to go over in this conversation but I’ll ask this one thing, brother here insists when you “marry a white women you marry her people” therefore, somehow you’re trying to be one of them and you have some kind of inert self-hate. That’s bullshit… if that’s so true that a black man marrying a white woman is to become closer to being white, wouldn’t she be doing the same thing? Under the concept he explains the white person in the relationship isn’t doing “her people” any favors either.” – Steve Brumfield

Sein’s show is Hip Hop 101 Que4.org.

Hip Hop 101 on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/hiphop101chicago/

Song Of The Day: Zion I, “How Many” – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Smm9WN-v7sk

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