The Quest Within, Pt 4: Stop Enabling A**holes

(I mentioned this blog on Episode 16)

So semi-regularly I listen to a podcast called Guys We Fucked and it’s great. It’s about 2 women who are sexually liberated and don’t mind talking about their escapades on air (definitely take a listen, it’s more open about sex stuff than Jenn & I could EVER be haha). So every once in a while they invite one of the people they’ve banged on to talk and mostly it’s a rip roaring good time, but this episode had me very irked. It was their Valentine’s Day episode (not the reason, though it connects) and the premise of the show was for the listener to write in with their worst V-Day stories. (The following numbers in brackets are the stories timestamps so you can listen for yourself.)

But before we get into that, let’s talk about the guest on the show. 1 of the women (Corrine) has admitted that he’s basically her Friend with Benefits. They’ve slept together on many occasions. Not hating on her for that (go girl!), just more so the character of the guest. He continuously puts her in her place (which I’m learning is a trait women want from their men, go fig) and it kind of comes off as semi-degrading but with a jovial delivery.

He’s confident enough to tell rebounds that they are rebounds (and they still sleep with him 22:15-24:12), and he’s cocky enough to tell the host that he fucked her one time out of politeness (25:33 – 26:16) and not be afraid he’d get slapped in the face for it. Offensiveness with a smile.

Corrine (mostly) just takes the digs in jest and I’m like “That ass gets to hit that ass?” URRGGH.

I wish I could paint him as a villain and an awful guy (he’s self-proclaimed & ego driven) but the thing is, he really isn’t. He’s worse. He’s the kind of guy women like. A lovable dick.

But that’s not even why I got mad (although that did tick me off). The episode got worse with the stories they read about guys who were supreme douches and still got to sleep with their partner, despite the disrespect they got in the situation.

One story (33:40-39:57) was about a girl and guy having a date on V-Day. After lying about cooking for her (he bought supermarket food) and giving her diarrhea, he offers his bed for her to recover in but also tries to score with her. In her words – for some “crazy reason” – she went with it.

Another story (1:04:05-1:15:25) was when the guy said they were going to have a romantic weekend but never actually made plans. So they went to a 3rd rate restaurant, he was rude to the waiter, called him the N word and wanted a discount for “poor service”. Later that evening the guy was rude to Mexicans and Asians (a racist Trifecta!!), and when they finally got home he pleaded for 20 minutes to have sex. She gave in to “shut him up”.

“Women freely have sex with guys they don’t think of as ‘boyfriend material’ but then they don’t have sex with guys they do think of as ‘boyfriend material’ Take a cue from that.” – KeyMaster

Stop enabling assholes, ladies. You complain about these types of individuals not giving you respect and not treating you right, and yet you give him what he wants and do nothing to correct his behavior and attitude. Which is why I call I find it funny every time a woman says she’s looking for a good man they usually end up with Assmunch.

It’s almost as if they’d rather be insulted and humiliated then to be with a nice guy because “at least the douche is entertaining”. Not so? Okay.

I recently read this article that hurt my heart. It was about this woman talking about the lessons she’s learned from her good boyfriends and her bad boyfriends. This is what she learned from her good ones:

“You’re so thoroughly mind-numbingly dulled by your good boyfriend that the first time a bad boy with a sly grin rolls up his sleeves and looks your way, you throw your virtue, your conscience, and your sense of self-worth out the window along with your panties.

These nice boyfriends were as compelling as yesterday’s news. They were clippings from a magazine that seemed interesting at the time, but to which I would never again refer. They were like wrapping paper that you remove neatly, fold, put away, and eventually throw out, crumpled up at a later date because you could never find a use for it.

Bad boys, in contrast, were literature. Like literature, they had a long shelf life in your imagination. They were complicated.

They had great dialogue and interesting back-stories. They were memorable characters. They were always present. They were unavoidable. They took center stage, whether or not they were the leading man.”

Why would you think I would have confidence after hearing that? Being compared to yesterday’s news and waiting to be eventually thrown out? Cause there’s no USE for me anymore? How can guys like me go up against dribble THAT? Did you read that bad boy description? You think this guy was “the one” in these women’s eyes. So to that I say – What’s the point? What’s the point in ever being a gentleman if women will, not only accept, but prefer that type of behavior?

There’s this “cute” meme I saw the other day and it states this:

“Guys, close your eyes. Imagine you have a daughter. Imagine she is dating a guy just like you. Did you smile? No? Then change.”

Good message. I get it. I smiled, but then again I was like wait – but I’m single. After seeing what I’m seeing I realize my daughter would never date a guy like me. She’d rather date Johnny Douchebag and Tommy Numbnuts because they were ‘like literature’ and had ‘great dialogue’ like “yo, when you gonna suck this dick?” Why would the guy stated in the meme ever need to change? In the words of bad boy himself Charlie Sheen – he’s “winning”.

There should be another meme going around. It should say “Women, imagine you have a son. Imagine you are raising him to be just like the guys you keep dating. Did you smile? No? Then What The Fuck.”

I find it funny that mothers are raising nice boys/gentlemen only for them to find out that that’s the exact opposite that women actually want when they get older. What a culture shock. The sad thing is, while the hosts and guest host were reading the stories, they were just laughing away at the rubbish they were hearing (granted some of the stories were amusing) as if to say ‘Welp, whadda gonna go do, you know? Boys will be Boys”. Even our guest (my own BROTHER) said on Episode 16 of our podcast that “You can’t save the world, brotha”. Instead of the situation being fucked up, it will be just chalked up to it being fun or funny. Instead of salacious, it’s silly. Cocky, confident. Barbaric, ballsy.

There’s really no winning for nice guys out there. So Fine. Fine, ladies. You want that brand of man in your life, cool. But you can’t complain about the guy you’re with when you like him for the exact things you complain about him for.

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